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Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The River Knew His Name (For Jack Leigh)

So, I wrote and submitted a poem that I wrote last year to the Seersucker Rag, a local quarterly publication that features writers.  They look for all kinds of submissions and when I returned to Savannah last year, I found myself writing a poem a day.  It helped to pass the time and was something to write in the process of settling back in town.  Be sure to pick up a copy and support local awesome!

The poems that suck were the ones where I was talking about how lonely I was.  The ones that were pretty good were the ones that were about the city and the Deep South in general.

The one that I submitted (which is the one that I'm including down below) was inspired after spending an afternoon looking at Jack Leigh photographs.  I've always found a lot of comfort and peace in his photos.  My house growing up always had a few of his books floating around.

I got the email today that the poem was selected and going to be published.  Very exciting!  Here's a copy of the poem below:

"The River Knew His Name (for Jack Leigh)

The coursing, pulsing water met mud,
And faced the trees in grey hues,
The tired boat yawned on the water
As it broke into sunrise.

Johnson had carved the river for thirty years
With exhausted, rich black skin
The nets were useless but
Maybe they’d catch breakfast again.

His deep white eyes were matched in reflection
And all he drinks ripped from him,
Skimmed on a mirror of morning
White wood floated through onyx water.

A salted neck craned through branches
Maybe to see the sun, say goodbye
But how to catch the star while all was rocking?
The world was bobbing to a silent symphony.

Aged fingers crossed into the surface
The tips pierced into darkness
And the life beneath quietly looked on,
Existing as statues do.

Fog held up the hugging trees
A lone fish jumped in the air
At the though of all the promises
Laid out at the beginning

His eyes were closed as the air filled him
Ancient knees bent and racked
The moment was born out of a careful plan
And the crash of water woke the dawn.

He drifted to where water slept
Letting the bubbles trickle to the sky
Here, there was peace, no struggle
Here, he would start again."

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Upstart Theatre Company!

So, when I stood up in front of the audience the night of A Midsummer Night's Play Festival, I was visibly nervous speaking in front of a group of people for the first time since I don't know when.  Reason mainly being that I hadn't slept that much in 48 hours, but I was also proposing a new venture in Savannah, GA:  The Upstart Theatre Company.

Now, there are a lot of theatre companies in Savannah.  Bay Street Theatre, Savannah Children's, City Lights, the Collective Face, the Savannah Theatre. But I wanted to start something that would start new works in Savannah and the Lowcountry.  There's going to be an outreach to local authors (some connections have already been made because of MNPF) to create new works here in town.  

It's going to start off pretty small.  We might do two full-length productions in the coming year, but there was MNPF and this coming February, we're going to do another 24 hr 10 min play festival called The Winter's Tales at Muse Arts Warehouse.  There are a few other events planned that are still being fleshed out.  It kind of depends on the 

If you are interested in the projects, want to know more about it, please email me at theatreupstart@gmail.com.  I'll be more than happy to discuss at length!

On another personal note, The Errant Knaves opens this week at TestoGenius Fetival in New York.  Even though I haven't seen any of it, I'm absolutely terrified.  Of it being a failure and of it being a success.  Everything is going to be fine though.  I'm proud of my work and I'll stand by it!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Live Blogging from the Event! A Midsummer Night's Play Festival! Part 4

The actors and directors are already hard at work on the scripts.  Gabe, Peter, Thomas and I got a little sleep (speaking for myself, I might have gotten about an hour).  Such is the nature of the event.  I find comfort in being tired in a theater...

I'm working on the order of the shows (proving to be a little elusive).  Sheila Lynne is very generously grabbing props for us, as well as Kimmi and Jason.  Later on, I'm going to be working on getting a sound list together, that way it'll be a fully fleshed out productions.

Morgann Daniels and Bill Cooper are directing for the first time.  They seem to be having a good time of it (which is ultimately the point!)  Also, new writers as well.  Kimmi and Molly Hall have not written dramatic scripts before, so there are some fresh and talented faces here on the cusp of creation!

Stay tuned for updates!  And be sure to come out tonight and see how it all turns out!

Live Blogging from the Event! A Midsummer Night's Play Festival! Part 3

The plays are written!  Right now, they're printing off and I should be able to close my eyes for about an hour and a half before the directors show up!

Some of the writers are pulling double duty.  Peter Griffin, Thomas Houston and Gabe Reynolds are also acting in the plays as well.

It's going to definitely be a challenge, but we have a lot of talent working at the plays.  Its going to be a great show.  The Who is playing out the evening.  Thought that was worth mentioning.

Now, we just have to wait for the directors and actors to get here.  There will be some running around for props and costumes during the day.  Programs will be taken care of by Creative Approach (they also printed the poster and the postcards, really really excellent work from them!)

Be sure to tell your family and friends and the neighborhood dog!  The show's tonight at 8pm!  Don't miss out!

Live Blogging from the Event! A Midsummer Night's Play Festival! Part 2

Approaching 2am!  Switched over from the Johnny Mercer station on Pandora to Cee-Lo Green.  This is about to get real!

We have the first draft of one play completed.  Jason Arons was the first to cross the line.  He's got a great script and is working on the final draft now.

Even though it's just ten pages and they've been working since about 830pm, they're not all done at this point.  But there's a good vibe with the writers.  They've talked with each other, running ideas by each other and having a good time.

I'm pretty tired.  Its great talking with them about what they've written.  It's great being in such a creative and hard-working environment.

More updates to come!  Stay tuned!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Live Blogging from the Event! A Midsummer Night's Play Festival!

We finally got the internet working after about six hours (hah!).  Truth be told, we didn't really put that much focus on it until just now.

At this moment, six writers are working on plays for the event.  They've been given a theme (still a secret at present!).  The coffee is brewing, the snacks are available and I hope that the new found Wi-Fi connection doesn't distract the authors.  They have until 6am to write the plays.

The directors and actors are trying to get some sleep (I assume that's true.)  Bill Cooper, local talent, is taking a director position.  I'm excited for him!  He's never done it before, but part of the purpose of the festival is to get people to do stuff that they haven't done before.  Thomas has the best writing process that I've seen so far.

I'm writing a little bit myself.  Not going to stage it, but it serves as a remind to some writers, especially the one's whose name begins with a "P" and ends in "Eter Griffin" will focus on the work at hand.  Plus, any chance to focus on writing is a good thing.  The sound of a keyboard hard at work I find truly comforting.

At 8am tomorrow, the directors will show up, get their scripts, then call the actors and get cracking at the work!  It's going to have a fun show and I'm hoping for a solid turn-out.

There should be some more updates later on.  Stay tuned!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Gay writer or writer who happens to be gay?

Playwright Edward Albee has won three Pulitzer Prizes, for Seascape, A Delicate Balance and  Three Tall Women.

First, turns out Edward Albee is still alive.  And, secondly, he's gay.  Maybe it's been a while since I've paid that much attention to this sort of thing, but both are completely true.  At least, that's what Albee says.

Below is a link to an article that was posted on NPR.  I recommend listening to the story.  One gets the better sense and tone that Albee is trying to convey.

Gay writer or writer who happens to be gay?

Before I really get into it, I wanted to mention that I think his mustache looks absolutely dapper.

First, I think that its a mistake to say that "gay plays are wrong" was what Albee was saying.  He wasn't saying anything negative about them.  If anything, he's saying that any time that you put a definition on anything, you're limiting it to just those things.  If something is "gay", it'll always be thought of in those terms.  It's College Philosophy 101.  Albee was making the point that you shouldn't pigeonhole yourself into writing only one different thing.  It's like putting shackles on your wrists and trying to write at the same time.  A limitation is a limitation.

But when Albee describes himself as a "writer who happens to be gay", he's talking about an aspect of his life that he himself says is irrelevant to his writing.  (Sidebar, his observation on Tennessee Williams is spot-on). This begs the question of why mention it at all?  I think that he's perfectly entitled to say that he's gay in any way, shape or form that he wants to say that he's gay. I thought that the wording on it was unique and alluding to hypocrisy.  However, he's careful about the way that he says this and manages to avoid it entirely.

Finally, the man is 83.  He's a legend in American Theatre, he can pretty much say whatever the hell he wants to whoever he wants to say it to.  He's at least earned that.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

MNPF, The Errant Knaves, the Odd Lot and An Evening With Cthulhu

Hello there, blogger world!  It's been a while since my last post (God, I hate reading that in other blogs but I can never say that it's not true.) but I have been quite busy as of late (Cliche!).  Started to get in the groove of things with the day job, working harder in the evening for the tours AND re-discovered an addiction to the game Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.  But that doesn't mean that things are working and coming to fruition!  It's one thing to have all the ideas but they should be implemented at some point.  (Looking at the right side of my brain re: Journey musical.)

Right side of my brain:  ... what?

First, the fundraising for A Midsummer Night's Play Festival was a total success!  Kickstarter is an excellent website and I'll definitely use it the future.  It was my first time using it and a lot of friends and even some people that I didn't know chipped into the final effort.  I might have to turn to them to get the funds raised for the Journey musical but I see that as more of an Internet wide campaign.

I'm really happy at the level of support for the festival (link will send you to the event page on Facebook; please invite yourself and others)!  Everyone seems to want to participate or chip in or something to that effect and it's great having a community level of validation. Now the festival is less than two weeks away.  Posters were handled today as well as postcards.  Get in touch with me if you're going to have time to throw the posters up around town!

The Errant Knaves in NYC is going well.  Shaun, the director, is a really outstanding gentleman who's keeping me very well informed about the progress of the play.  I also sent him a snippet of another play I'm working on called Here Are The Rules.  I believe that I've mentioned here before.  Haven't heard back from him in the last week, but no news is good news.

He's very open with me about what he thinks of the play (which is generally supportive with moments of  confusion and a lack of clarity on my part) and he has a dynamic approach with me.  Because I haven't really established a coherent style as of yet, I have to explain a lot of the choices in the play.  That actually works to both of our benefit. It makes me more critical and careful of my choices and Shaun gets a chance to find out what the 'eff I'm talking about.

Last week, I had a run at the Odd Lot.  Pirates of the CarODDbean.  Love working with these actors.  They are engaged, not trying to be funny by themselves and they're happy doing what they are doing.  They have become a true ensemble and that's always a wonderful thing to see.  Improv terrifies me.  All performance does, in a way, but there's something about improvisation that scares me terrifically.  I wish I didn't have the work schedule that I do, that way I could play with them on a regular basis.  If you haven't seen them at Muse Arts Warehouse, DO IT!  They're open most Monday nights, check the website for show information.

Last but not least, I'm working with Sheila Lynne, Chris Soucy and others on an evening reading the work of HP Lovecraft.  In my head, I'm calling it An Evening With Cthulhu.  That's pending approval from Sheila, but if it goes through, I'm totally copyrighting that shit.  I'll post more about it as the details come in.  But end of July!  At Muse Arts Warehouse (naturally!)  Mark your calenders... Do it...

And, at the end of this post, we have the poster as designed by the illustrious Morgann Daniels.  Faustina Smith donated $200 to get her hands on this puppy!  Thanks to Morgann and Faustina!
Designed by Morgann Daniels

Thursday, April 21, 2011

A Midsummer Night's Play Fest!!!


Me!  Fuzzy in the background!  Yay!

Had a pick-up rehearsal last night at the Bay Street Theatre for "The Boys Next Door" (buy tickets here). God, it was a lot of fun.  It was insane.  Sped through it, played around with the scenes and just haven't laughed that hard in so long over a play.  We shifted from being silly and goofy to trying to get through the lines as fast as possible.  Awesome.  It's a great show with some top-notch actors.  If you didn't get a chance to see the show last weekend, you should definitely try to come out this time around.  Worth it!


Yesterday, I got the approval from JinHi of Muse Arts Warehouse  that her space was available on June 10th and 11th.  That is the weekend of the Midsummer Night's Play Festival!  In 24 hours, six ten minute plays will be written, staged and performed for the genearl public!  Put it out as an event on Facebook (it must be official now, right?)  In the same vein, there's going to be a Kickstarter campaign that will begin at the end of the weekend.  The requested amount of funds is going to be pretty small (relatively speaking?) but me at Peter Griffin are working on the details. 

Do spread the word about the Play Fest.  It's going to be a lot of fun and it would be astoundingly awesome if people from every different theatre company in Savannah were to come out and participate.  There will be space in the program to advertise for your upcoming events and whatnot.  Plus, you'll be cool. And isn't that what it's all about?

So, keep watching this space if you want to know more about the event.  And you'll be sick of me shaking the internet collection plate for fundraising BUT if you participate in the event, you'll get lunch taken care of for you.  That's right.  Lunch. 

The day of the event... not, you know... tomorrow.

"Last word" has to go to the Bay Street Theatre and the production of "The Boys Next Door" running tonight, Friday and Saturday.  This is your last chance to see a wonderful story told!  Don't miss it!

Friday, March 11, 2011

The Errant Knaves

The Festival emailed me back.  They said that the deadline was extended so I still had time to submit, which will be done later on today.  I think a day off is really a day where you still have a bunch to do but you don't get paid to do those things.  Generosity!

I wanted to speak a little bit more on the "workshop" that I had with Peter and Katie.  First, I wish that I had given myself more time to read through the piece.  I wanted to see how instinctively the words came to the actors from the page.  The answer was not really.  And it's not their fault, its my own because what I wrote was dense and awkward.  If  I had given  myself more time, we could have gone through the play again and I could have given little notes here and there.  That way I could get an idea as to how far a leap has to be made.  Again, everything was insanely helpful.

Even though I said that I didn't want the feedback, it would have been a good thing to have.  Peter mentioned that it was a very Greek piece and that gave it a lot of clarity.  Didn't see that coming.  The feedback thing wasn't a question of ego but I was more scared that there was going to be input that I would really take to and then the play would go off in a million different directions.

I already think that it's a little more "complicated" than what I had imagined.  That's not really a good thing.  I find that it's hard to keep focus on themes when I'm writing (hence the workshop).  But Katie and Peter were great helps.

Art = Windmills.
I went back and read through it and found myself making a lot more notes than what I figured I would.  I really should allow more time on these projects because when I do, it comes out better in the end.

The play ended up being a bit longer than I thought that it would.  I was shooting for fifteen pages and ended up at nineteen (the max was twenty).  With the Pinter Pauses that I put in there, this might run a good bit of time.

Finally settled on the title:  The Errant Knaves.  Something about it seemed to fit, but naturally I reserve the right to change the damn thing.  It's appropriate enough but something about it suggests that the father and son go out on quixotic adventures when they don't.  I guess it's something that I would have written back in my high school days.  But it's a lot stronger than what I would have produced back in the day.  At the very least, I feel like I've grown as an artist.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Artistic Fiber in the Water

"Workshop" with the actors yesterday went well.  Wasn't looking for feedback, just wanted to hear how everything sounded in new mouths and brains.  It sounded awkward as hell.  Not because of the actors but because of how I wrote it.  BUT some crucial points were brought up in my own head.  Thanks to Peter and Katie for reading through it.  Especially, Katie given that she had no heads up about the reading.  And Peter made a good comment off-hand.
To TestoGenius Festival Website! (To the TUBES!)

Had the first read-through for The Boys Next Door last night.  It's a weird way of putting it, but it's great working in a "regular" play.  That's to say something with a little structure, no music, just a plain and simple story.  I haven't played a character like Jack in a long time (if ever) and I'm looking forward to it.  Lots of monologues too and that's always a good thing.

It's a wonderful feeling in general.  It's like with the coming of spring, there's been a Spring Awakening for me and for everyone around.  It's like artistic fiber has been put in the water... don't quote me on that metaphor.  I feel good about writing and acting and, if things go my way, directing as well.  I miss directing already, it's like quitting smoking; I can feel the withdrawals in my arms.



Also, have a interview on Monday for a 'real' job.  Hopefully that works out.  That way, my evenings are free for these kinds of artistic endeavors.  You never know how things will work out, but at least, if I get the job, I would have the peace of mind to create without worrying about creditors and the like.

Wish I could go see Frost/Nixon at Muse Arts Warehouse this weekend.  Won't have the time do so, but it's always important to support local awesome.  Really excited for Chris Blair too.  He's worked hard for a very long time and I'm sure he'll tear the thing apart.  I like that there's something consistent in Savannah.  At least in a sense.  There's more than one group with more than one project coming down the pipeline.  What's more, I get the feeling that things are only going up, in quantity and quality.  Here's hoping!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

TestoGenius Festival! (Part Two), Puppets and The Boys Next Door!

This was the most reasonable picture I found on Google Images when searching "Father and Son".

So the "Father/Son" play is finished!  Still haven't figured out a title yet, but I'm happy with my process this time around, more so than other things that I've written.

Also, I want to try something a little different this time before submitting and that's to have actors read the script before making another draft of the play.  A little bit of workshopping if you will.  I know what it sounds like in my head but thats not whats going to be on the stage.  Pretty excited at the prospect!  Hopefully, I can get something done by the end of the week.  Deadline for postmark is Mar. 15th.



I've been working with Angela Beasley on a show about Juliette Gordon Low.  Very fun show and it's performed for senior citizens around Savannah.  Nice having a consistent show to do with her again.  I like working for her because it's a reminder that a performance should be fun, regardless of what you're doing.  You should have a good time.  Or at least try to.



Last, but not least, last night I auditioned and was asked to play Jack in a production of The Boys Next Door at Bay Street Theatre!  Get to work with that crowd again and I get to act opposite Chris Soucy, a feat that Savannah theatre hasn't seen in TEN YEARS!

I'm at the age now where I get to say that about people.  I think it's a good thing.  It means that I haven't given up.  It means that I've worked hard at something, in a sense.  And given other things that have happened in my life, that means quite a bit.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

TestoGenius Festival! (Part One)

Right now, I have a great start on a play for the playwrighting festival.

TestoGenius Festival!

I love festivals because they give parameters and a deadline.  In other words, they give a fire that I flee from.  There's no kind of motivation like death... or severe tissue scarring... it's not a perfect metaphor.

I'll post the entire script on www.scripped.com when it is completed.  The theme is fatherhood;  I had a couple of false starts.  I was trying to deal with the theme directly and that wasn't what I wanted to say.  I think I like subtlety in art.  I like having to read between the lines, even when I don't get it.  Naturally, I want to use my experiences as a father in the show, but I kept coming back to the way that my father treated me while I was growing up.  And there will be something about the Flying Dutchman and some Greek myth thrown in if need be.

I feel good about this one.  Might be a good piece of writing.

Tried putting it on the typewriter.  Had a good steam going but the ink ribbon gave out.  So, computer it must be!  But at least I tried with the typewriter.

Aiming to have the play done by the end of the week!

Not me, not my father, just a fitting image.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Bob Dylan: A Fanatic's Perspective

The term “fan”, when used to describe somebody, is an abridgement of the word “fanatic”.  To be a fanatic doesn’t mean that you’re going to strap a bomb to your chest and blow up a pizzeria for Miley Cyrus, say, but it does mean that you’ve made up your mind.  To use gentler terms, it means to be a follower, a devotee, an admirer.


I’ve been a Bob Dylan fanatic since I was 16 years old.  And I choose “fanatic” because I choose to emphasize the impact that this artist has had on my life.  That’s what music should do.  That’s what great art does.  It inspires, it motivates, it tells us that we can create the same and we too shall understand.

I found Bob when I was in high school.  I was looking for something that not a lot of people knew about and the culture of the 1960’s proved to be a perfect spot to look.  It made it a lot easier to stand out, given the artistic and eclectic environment that I found myself in my freshman and sophomore years.  For his birthday, my dad was given Bob Dylan’s Greatest Hits.  As I was wont to do at the time I regularly raided my father’s extensive music collection to find something new to me.  This is how I discovered Johnny Cash, Dire Straits and Credence Clearwater Revival, among others.  But this guy, this Dylan was different.

On this lone record, there were songs like “Blowin’ in the Wind”, “Just Like A Woman”, “Like A Rolling Stone” and “Subterranean Homesick Blues”.  In half the record, it was demonstrated what a versatile artist he was.  He could play rock and roll (and I mean real rock and roll), psychedelic blues, thoughtful acoustic and politically-minded folk and he could play those songs effortlessly, like he was just walking down the street.  It was insane.  It blew my mind.

The addiction began and I had to feed the habit.  Shortly thereafter, I bought Live 1966: The “Royal Albert Hall” Concert.  I immediately went home, I put the CD in the player and sat and listened. 
That’s something that isn’t done with today’s music.  Back in the day, when you bought a record, you would play it, either by yourself or with friends, and you would listen to it.  You wouldn’t do anything else.  You weren’t playing video games, you weren’t reading or writing some schlock; you listened to the music and took it in for what it was.  You let the artist say what it was that they had to say.  You gave them your attention.  After all, you spent the dollar to give them the chance to begin with.


On Live 1966, he sings “Desolation Row” in its entirety.  It’s one of my personal favorites and may actually be the best song that he ever wrote.  As I sat and listened to the performance, he easily slides into the lyric “Einstein disguised as Robin Hood…”  The best way to describe the sensation in my head was that my mind was blown.  I had never heard something like that before and I’ve spent time since then trying to think of the image.  I try to think of the circumstances why Einstein would have to do that.  Where did he get the costume?  Wouldn’t he know that anyone would recognize him?  I enjoy the mental chase that gives way and I lose every time.

Then, I made the most important purchase of my life:  Blood on the Tracks.  I have no problem saying that it’s his best album, period, but I’m open to criticism.  Blonde on Blonde is the one that is generally considered to be better, but I disagree for the following reason:  B o B is an excellent recording and the imagination behind it is a force of nature and cannot be denied.  However, art should have the capacity to connect and I feel that Blood on the Tracks makes that connection better, quicker and stronger.
He manages, in the brief album that it is, to encapsulate so many different aspects of a relationship.  He took to songwriting in this album like some people paint pictures or take photographs.  There’s usually more than one story in a picture, there’s more than one perspective to be shared and understood.  All the songs are capable of doing that.  In “Tangled Up In Blue”, he shifts perspectives quickly talking about himself and then this lonely man.  He makes the change as fast as he moves to the next line in the song.  It’s a song that offers a fresh and unique perspective on life almost every single time I listen to it when I reach a new stage in my life.


The first time I heard the song “Idiot Wind”, I cried.  Hard.  It hurt.  The reason why was because I honestly had no idea (at the age of seventeen) how someone was able to articulate what it was that I was going through at that point in my life.  I was struggling to understand relationships, I was quickly realizing that I had made mistakes that I was going to have to live with (at least for a while, I was only 17) and here was a recording of a man singing by himself in a booth thirty years prior speaking to the exact moments that I was going through.  It was insane.  It might be the first time I had a genuine spiritual experience in my life.  It’s the remarkable thing about a truly great artist.  They seem to speak like shamans in the village.  While you know that they are just stumbling along like the rest of us, they manage to put your thoughts and feelings in such a way that you wonder how you’ve been able to think or feel without them.  I actively sought people out and told them to listen to the song.  There was one instance where I actually made the man sit down and listen to the entire song.  It was the only way I could talk sometimes.  I relied on it too much.  I let it speak for me and let the ambiguity of the work entrench itself in the mind of the opposing listener.

That’s a dreadful thing about music:  sometimes we let it take over.  We let it define us instead of us defining it.  The artist may speak to our feelings, our lives or our moment, but we can’t let it speak for us constantly.  The man had no idea what it was I was trying to say because he spent the time trying to figure out what Dylan was trying to say. He walked away shaking his head and I remember being insanely confused.  Why didn’t it work?  Why didn’t he understand how I felt about the failed relationship that I just went through?

For some people, it’s the Beatles.  For some, it’s Dave Matthews Band.  For others, it’s Nickelback.   I think that it’s important for us, just as people, to have that someone or something that we latch on to that helps us understand ourselves and that which surrounds us.

I know that I’m not alone in thinking about this in regards to music.  Hell, I know that I’m not the only person who feels this way about Bob Dylan (though I don’t think that you’re going to see fans try to imitate his hairstyle, like you do with Elvis fans).  The thing about music that we love is that it connects us completely.  If we let it.

To say that we are a fan is to be passive about the work that we admire; to admit that we are fanatics is to admit that we are involved in the artistry that we search after.  And if you’re not involved, you’re not paying attention.


How does it feel?

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Writer's Block or Paperback Writer.

It's really easy for me to get down on myself as an artist.  Not in the funky dance way, but in the demeaning way.

I like writing.  I've always liked it.  It was the first thing that I did as a child that my parents (especially my mom) encouraged me to do.  Whether or not it has been worthwhile is something else, but the act of creating has always produced immense satisfaction.  It's why any of us do it.  But in thinking about what I have written, I can chalk it up to a one-act play that was produced in high school, two full-lengths that were written in college (one became a staged-reading at a festival; more on that later) and two ten-minute plays that are on sale at www.offbookmarket.com.  Seems like I should have more than that.  But I don't.

When I first started writing this, I had a couple of entries planned out and had a solid idea as to what I wanted to write about.  I was planning on making it an "about every week" thing as a kind of meditation among other things.  This past Sunday, I sat down and was going to write a blog about how I was finding it difficult to finish things (plays, screenplays, etc) when I couldn't finish that.  It's as if I can't begin to write something without being stopped about halfway through or near the end because I don't know how to end the story.

And, naturally, that begs the question, why did I start to tell the story to begin with?

The play that went to festival was called "How I Met You", which either came around the same time or immediately before "How I Met Your Mother".  It was a play about how I met my now ex-wife.  It was meant to be very honest and frank.  It was graphic in it's conversation and had plenty of embarrassment for me and for her along the way.  I was proud of it.  I was also very pleased that it was considered for production through the Essential Theatre's Playwrighting Competition in 2006 and that it got a reading at the Youth Playwright's Festival hosted by the Horizon Theatre (both companies in Atlanta).

However, especially with the divorce, it's hard to read the play even to critique it;  It's not just because the marriage didn't work out but also because I can't help but think it's bad.  Just... bad.  No through line, no structure, just a bunch of random ideas that I Scotch-taped together.

Maybe the problem is that I'm going back and I'm analyzing the thing like I'm reading Macbeth or Long Days Journey Into Night.  And it's not supposed to be like that.  None of them are supposed to be.  I certainly should give myself a little more slack than that.

Well, I'd call that a kind of breakthrough (obvious though it may be).

Nowadays, among other ventures, I'm considering Graduate School as an option.  I want to teach; I like it and working at AWOL has certainly reminded me of that.  It's kept me hungry for it.  Right now, I'm working on a portfolio for grad school applications and, hopefully, that will turn it something that I've been doing for a long time. Only in this case, someone will have the generosity to pay me for it.

In as far as writer's block is concerned, one of the things that have helped me are deadlines.  I noticed I got a lot done in school because I had due dates and requirements.  I've flourished in an institution setting.  Also, having a blog like this has helped a good deal already.

So, I will make this declaration here on this blog and those who read it will hold me accountable.  By the 1st of April, I will finish the first draft of the Odyssey Musical (the one set to the music of Journey)!

Decisive!!!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Shame, Humiliation and the Drive of Performance

One of the books that has always had an impact on me was "A Director Prepares" by Anne Bogart.  It's a very personal journey and a singular view of an artist.  As a testament to it's strength and potency, you don't have to have the mindset of a director to enjoy it.  Any one of any theatrical persuasion would be able to get something out of it.

The part that always had the biggest impact on me was the chapter on "Embarrassment".  What was especially decisive about reading that was just the title in of itself.  I had finally found the word that I had felt since the very first play I had ever done.

"The Beggar's Opera" by John Gay required that I stand behind prison while a woman seduced the guard for the key.  While doing so, I thought (being completely new to acting) that I should slip on the bars and fall a little to show that I was involved in the scene and being lured away by her feminine ways as well.  In doing this, I would stomp my foot a little to catch myself.  

Now, the director was not one that I would describe of as "good" or "competent".  But she did give the only note to me that was worthwhile in the two years that I worked with her: Tim, don't do that, you're stealing focus. And I remember thinking to myself that this must be it.  It was over.  I wouldn't make it in theatre and there was no sense in working any further.  I figured that the right thing to do was to finish out the show and then never audition for another show ever again.  

Then, when the last show came, someone said "Good job, Tim! You were funny!" and I forgot about all the shame that I had with that simple and basic note (one that I've given to lots of actors along the way... when I'm directing of course).

I was embarrassed to get that note but the note was absolutely correct and necessary and shame was the best way of making sure that I never did it again.  Humiliation seems to be stronger force than we think of in a normal day to day manner.  We as people hate to be embarrassed.  We hesitate to answer a question in class lest we be wrong.  We hate to pick a restaurant for an indecisive group because what if we pick something that not everyone likes?  Shame keeps us in check.  It's the reason why we might not reach our full potential.  It's part of the reason why I don't think that I've reached mine.

But I'm still brought back to theatre, to create and to perform.  Embarrassment doesn't bring me back.  The payoff does, when it's done well.  Shame is a filter; it pushes those away that don't really want to do it.  Shame is the price that you pay to get the applause and the accolades.  But, most importantly, it's what you suffer through to get to the point where they can understand you, to where they can feel what it is that you feel.  Connection is the goal and the prize.

Last night, I saw three bands.  Two were excellent, one was not that great.  The weakest of the acts was a singer/songwriter who wasn't connected to what it was that he was doing.  He didn't have the same amount of emotional investment as the other acts.  He didn't risk himself, he didn't chance the embarrassment.  There was nothing at stake for him, so there wasn't anything interesting for us as an audience.

The other acts were strange and eclectic and bizarre; Very strange stuff.  But they loved their music and they had committed to the performance and the pay off was tremendous.

We should do things that scare us.  We should do things that are daring and we should damn the torpedoes as we do so.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Wherein My Intentions Are Announced

The title of this blog comes from an email address that I have (truthissoap@yahoo.com).  The phrase "truth is soap" came to me when I was a freshman in college and I was trying to be profound and insightful.  The philosophy behind it was plain: truth was like soap.  When activated (lathered) it can be difficult to hold onto.  And when one squeezes for a tighter grip, the harder it becomes to contain.  But, whether one holds on to it or not, it has the capacity of making one smell clean and refreshed.  The main purpose wasn't whether or not you held onto the soap or not.  The idea was that you tried, that you attempted.


This blog is meant to be a collection of my thoughts and experiences with writing and with theatre.  It's not meant to be something profound or insightful.  It's not meant to say what is right or wrong with others.  It's meant to get a sharper idea of what is and is not about myself.  The only thing that I can really say about what I see is that it's in my perspective and in my opinion.

I plan on focusing more on art than day to day life.  Maybe that would be best reserved for another blog, but I don't believe that would be necessary.  So, I will get started when the first thought enters my head...